TidalBall is the beach game that beats all other beach games at beach gaming. Now that sentence doesn’t make much sense, and may have been written to mess with Search Engine Optimization, but follow this analogy. TidalBall is like Roger Federer or Kevin Durant of beach games. It just makes fun look easy, it’s just freakishly talented, and fills up the box score at good times, shenanigans, and debauchery. Put any other beach game next to TidalBall, and it just looks like it’s trying so hard to keep up. Awkwardly flailing about, all sweaty and sandy. And you know what sweat, sand, and effort make at the beach — rashes. And rashes are not fun. So in a round about, admittedly convoluted way, TidalBall wins at beach gaming simply by not causing a rash, and everything after that is a glorious day at the beach.
PaddleBall vs TidalBall
[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="800.0"]
  0
  0
  1
  30
  176
  Masterminds
  1
  1
  205
  14.0
 
  Normal
  0
 
 
 
 
  false
  false
  false
 
  EN-US
  JA
  X-NONE
 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
 
 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
[/caption]
Beach Game Recap:
We love Paddle Ball, and that girl has a lovely rump, but TidalBall clearly wins. Fun for more than two people, way less awkward, and that dude is about 20 minutes from begging for some rash ointment.
Winner - TidalBall
Volley Ball vs TidalBall
[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="500.0"]
 "Hey, you bros got sand in every orifice too?" [/caption]
Beach Game Recap:
Don’t get us wrong; Volley Ball is a good time. But it’s difficult to enjoy an adult beverage and play V-ball. And the only thing more futile than 30 something whiteys trying to jump in sand is a red head trying to tan.
Winner - TidalBall
Cornhole on the beach vs TidalBall
Beach Game Recap:
Cornhole is our favorite game for a parking lot, but at the beach it’s the worst. Too heavy, doesn't fit on a plane (hence can’t go to exotic beaches), plus the sand and water ruins the bags. Then when you get home, the bags are mildewy. Unless you’re one of those weirdos that can’t smell mildew. Then you’re kind of lucky, but odds are you smell like mildew. Now that we think about it, people that can’t smell mildew are kind of like lepers. They deserve their own stinky colony, they can hang out with that hipster playing Cornhole with his clothes on. Nice chain wallet – dude.
Winner - TidalBall
Bocce Ball vs TidalBall
Beach Game Recap:
Bocce gives TidalBall the stiffest competition, but still comes in a distant second. Shall we dissect its weaknesses?
-Pretty heavy
-Requires a lot of walking and beach space-
-Crazy dangerous, almost medieval kind of dangerous. Those balls weigh at least 5 pounds. Hello, bludgeoning-some-random-little-child-that-ran-in-the-way-of-a-flying-bocce-to-death. You know what doesn't look good on a resume, accidental childslaughter. If you play Bocce on the beach, you better have personal liability umbrella insurance. In fact, that should come included with the game. State Farm, Geico, All State, I just opened up a whole new niche market for you wallet suckers.
-Finally, no one properly pronounces the name of the littlest Bocce ball.
Long blog post short, TidalBall is the beach game that beats all other beach games at beach gaming.
Leave a comment: