The Fast and the Furious (AKA- One Down, Five to Go)

A Review by Greg Merritt

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 53%


This was my very first taste of this near-billion dollar money making factory of a franchise. To my surprise, it really wasn’t bad! On the positive side- this movie was well made, entertaining, and never lost my attention. I did keep it in the back of my mind that this was released in 2001 so obviously there would be a few things that might not hold the test of time; but it seemed to me that it held up remarkably well.
On the other hand; the plot, script, and acting were flaming piles of rotten garbage; even for a movie that I knew going in would be on the simple side. So, where to begin? It was just packed with moments of “why would they do that instead of simply…” Too many to call out. I imagine they pounded out the script in about three or four hours after a bottle of tequila and had no budget left for editors, so I’ll lay off that part. Vin Diesel on the other hand deserves his own separate review. This is a guy that has zero depth or charisma and seems to have potted meat product for brains. My favorite part of the movie was this dynamic exchange between his character and the other guy (who by the way has to be the absolute worst-at-his-job cop to ever exist in a movie):

Bad guys shoot up the car, speed off on motorcycles.
Mentally challenged undercover cop Paul Walker: “So what the hell was that all about?”

VD: “It’s a loooong story.”

PW: “Well we got a 20 mile hike, humor me.”

VD: “Business deal that went sour; plus I made the mistake of sleeping with his sister.”

FIFTEEN WORDS! Bravo Vin Diesel – your long story that would no doubt take up the majority of this 20 mile walk was just monotonously excreted in one short sentence! What the hell would these wordsmiths possibly have to talk about next? That would be some intriguing dialogue.

Overall, I’d say my opinion is pretty close to

I give this installment 6 Vin Diesel heads out of 10.